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Hello darlings, it's Auntie Vadge here to help you sort out your problems. How may I help you?

Auntie Vadge,

please advise me, my dad works as a driver round the nothwest and ever since my mum found out he's had invites to dinner my parents have done nothing but argue, something to do with Chorley's reputation of slags or something,. I'm really upset as I don't know what a slag is, can you tell me as I daren't ask mum or dad, they have too much on their plate already.

love DB, bolton

Vadge says:

Oh dear, unfortunately it's a word used to describe a woman or man who will sleep with anyone, I hope your dad didn't take up this womans offer or they will be arguing about STD's as well. Sorry sweetheart, and good luck.

Help me auntie Vedge,
I just want to be pretty, I put on tight clothes,loads of make-up, dye my long hair and try to dress young for my age, and all the men at my local say I do look good for my age, so why can't I find a man????

love from ?

Vadge says:

OOH, yes dear, lots of advice for you, firstly never belive what anyone at your local pub says, they're drunk see? You're just a fuzzy blur to them, plus they're your freinds and they've seen what a temper you've got so they daren't tell you the truth, ask a sober, stranger what they think or put your pic on a rate my mate website. Secondly, you actually sound like a tranny the way you describe yourself so maybe go for a more minimal look as far as make-up goes. And finally, are you skinny? If you are then you'll never get a man if you haven't got a bosom, my Franks been with me for 55 years and I'm a 66GGG so I know what I'm talking about.

Dear Vadge

I have an embarrasing problem, you know, down below, I'm very itchy, it smells funny too. Ther's also some slimy stuff. I have enclosed a photo, so maybe you could give a better diagnosis? I am too embarrassed to go to my doctor?

luv pete
Vadge says:

OOOOH! you nearly gave an old lady a heart attack! How can you be too embarrassed to go to your doctor? that's his/her job, you weren't too ashamed to send me a pic, I hope this letter is serious and not some pervert just sending pics of his manhood to random ladies. I prescribe you wash more often. And change your clothes. But go to your doctor, he's the professional.

Deer anti vaj,

do u enjoy been an agony ant? i fink u do coz u seem simpafetic lyke my nan, i luv u anti vaj an am ur bigist fan, plz can i av a sined foto?

Vadge says:

Ooh, a foriegn letter, unfortunately, I'm not fluent in russian deary, but thankyou for writing in, sweetheart!

Dear Auntie Vadge, if indeed that is your real name,

I find this whole website crude, insulting, poorly designed and factually innadequate, for example, there is no such person as Ian McShane, he is a made up character like Superman, James Bond and Posh Spice. also chorley people are not ugly, as your pages imply. I am considered quite a stunner myself as is my girlfreind and I enclose a picture to proove it. We are constantly chatted up in the pub and hold regular swingers parties with equally stunning couples.

Please get you facts right Corley poop. from Susan and Adam.

Vadge says:

Oh, what a dissappointment, I thought it was another letter from Pete...ah well, I'm sorry but i'll have to decline your invite to your party, myself and frank are babystting that night.

Are you a good looking couple from Chorley? Look at these photo's then judge for youself, apparently these people are.

*WARNING* If you are wearing 3D glasses, please remove them NOW.

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